Thanks, my friend! (Sept. 27)

There is an over-abundance of wonderful women in my life, and I'm so lucky to be able to make that claim. Those of us who have lots of friends are rich indeed! I'd like to recognize my friend, Joan, as I was able to recently catch up with her and realize how very much I miss seeing her on a regular basis.

Joan always has a kind word to offer. She is one of those rare people who always asks about the other person first and listens with great interest even though she very well could be bored to tears (and deservedly so). She makes a friend feel like their story is the most interesting one in the world, even though it likely isn't!

With so many egocentric people in the world and so few good things think about from the news, it's refreshing to be personally acquainted with "good folk," ones who are simply fun to be around. Joan has a comfortingly hearty laugh and playful attitude. She takes her work seriously but not too much so. It was always a joy to be around her at my previous job, and being in her company could make the worst day better.

She has always made me feel like she was happy to see me, and I hope she knows how much I miss her. I had so much fun talking with her last weekend, and it made my heart soar to watch her face light up to see me. Maybe that was just the beer talking ... lol.

Even though I haven't told her so, this woman is an indomitable force whom I admire on a personal as well as professional level. Her husband and son have a great woman in their life, of which I'm sure they are aware. She, too, is a woman of integrity, and I'm glad she's my friend.

*If you are privileged enough as I am to have women in your life who make it all the better, let them know. Tell them thanks for being your friend. You'll be glad you did.

Thanks, my friend! (August 8)

There's actually a reason why none of my friends were duly thanked during the month of July. I was a bit preoccupied with a little writing project called Camp NaNoWriMo, which patterns itself after National Novel Writing Month in November each year. Writers usually either love it or hate it. I'm in the latter group but was encouraged to take part by some other online writers with whom I associate online.
A few of them went pretty gung ho with their effort, too, writing 50,000 plus words during those 31 harried days. I was happy with meeting my goal of 30,000 and was able to reach it, in part, with the encouragement and support of someone I know from an online community of writers called Studio 30 Plus.
Marie is a friend of mine who really kicked ass at Camp. She not only met her lofty daily writing goal but managed to still promote the Studio through online marketing AND job hunt while enjoying her regular dreamy lifestyle. It takes place afloat in the Gulf of Mexico on either her boat or paddle board when she's not otherwise travelling the States as a race car mechanic. Not too shabby, eh?
I didn't steal her picture to use here without asking but took the liberty to nab a shot of her artwork (hope she doesn't mind). The piece puts one of many amazing talents into corporeal form, and it IS shark week after all. She is a creative force, and I can't wait to read her novel currently in the editing stage.
Although we haven't met in person, I feel I have a good essence of this woman without ever shaking her hand or giving her a hug. I don't know if Marie IS a hugger, but her spirit reaches through the computer screen and grabs you. She always encourages other writers and gives me positive feedback. Her timing is great, too, especially when it seems only she and my friend, Lanea, (who originally inspired this "thanks, my friend" meme) care to read anything I write.
Constructive criticism comes easier from like-minded people, so I appreciate communing with Marie as we pour out our minds onto paper (or screens, as the case may be). I hope to maybe watch her either derby or replace an engine one day, but for now want to say 'thanks, my friend!"

Thanks, my friend! (June 27)

This message is a little overdue, although it has been spoken in other words a long time ago.  Four years last month, as a matter of fact. Yesterday I got a reminder about needing to voice my thanks to a great person, Rhonda, who helped us when buying our house in 2009.

She posted a funny FB story yesterday that touched my generally cynical but just then "soft side."  It was about her being complimented by an older man, which she totally deserved, but who was obviously making a geriatric move.  She politely declined his offer, being the sweet person that makes her Rhonda.  Rhonda was very gracious to him, and while I wish I'd have done the same, I probably just would've bitched about always getting hit on by the oldest and/or stinkiest dude around.  That's the truth, btw.  He was always either ancient or putrid -- even in Ireland.

A friend of hers suggested -- much like I do with thanks, my friend to "tell people nice things like that" as we never know when life will end and shouldn't "miss the opportunity to brighten someone's day."  I totally get that!  There's no sense in looking back and wishing we would've told someone something when the chance is gone.  

So my thanks go to Rhonda for guiding us to a home that has made life comfortable in a sometimes foreign place and for her personal touch in doing so.  I'm glad we've stayed in touch online, because she's a genuinely delightful person and a strong, independent woman.  That looks lovely on a lady!

Life is short, and we meet relatively few great people while we're living it.  Don't wish you coulda/woulda/shoulda said something nice to someone when you think of it instead of remembering with regret later!

Thanks, my friend! (June 20)

If you're very lucky, you find people in your life who bring positiveness to those around them. It doesn't matter what life throws Kim, she's like that. One of those give-me-lemons-and-I'll-make-lemonade types. She looks at the good and keeps a smile on her face.

Honesty is one of the strong traits of this beautiful woman. Kim is candid and self-effacing. She doesn't let pride get in the way. I find it very admirable that what you see is what you get with her. Her sense of self is strong enough that she fearlessly puts herself "out there." Her boys must have gleaned some of that strength from her, and she is one proud Mama!
Coming from a small town provides some perks, one of which is being able to easily stay in touch with your old friends through mutual friends. Kim and I have known each other since we were in high school and have only been able to get together a few times since then, but it's pleasure when I get to see her. We always laugh and have fun. I wish she and I were closer, but the distance makes me cherish the chances we have to talk all the better.
It only takes a moment to tell a friend how special she is to you and recognize something great about her. Take the opportunity you have to do it right now! You will be glad you did.

Thanks, my friend! (June 6)

If I were to make a list of memories, a litany of notable events of fun times shared together, with my friend Kim I'd be at it for quite a while. There'd be an empty tissue box beside me when I finished, too, from all the tears shed in laughter and reminiscence. Most all of them involved some craziness worthy of the motto Kimberley created, "Be there or be talked about."
Being there meant fun, especially the look-back-at-crack-up-about-it-later kind of fun. Not all in retrospect either, because we laughed our asses off at the time, too. First, though, I must give credit where it's due. Kim provided me many saving graces during my five years of living in Kansas City, and I don't know what I'd have done without her. She made me so many meals (not only, but very notably, special ones on St. Pat's and New Year's Day), and threw me a party for college graduation. Finishing undergrad was the main reason for moving there, but Kim's house was my home away from home while I was alone and single in the city. She even helped me shoot my first video. Whether or not I left on the lens cap is irrelevant.
Kim and her husband, Gary, opened their doors to me when I had no other family near. I can't count the number of cocktail hours she and I spent on her screened porch and patio or tabulate the neighbors bothered by our nonsensical singing and dancing. Dickie howled in unison as we celebrated life, and little Molly joined us in the later years. Thank the universe we made it home unscathed after many a night out, too, including the most memorable one when a car came through the wall at Mike's Tavern and almost shoved Kim and the table into my lap. She was unflappable, ordering another beer before we were (all) asked to leave when the dust literally settled.
I like to call those my "formative years," my coming of age, that helped me become the person I am today.  They weren't all easy, but my adventures with Kim were a highlight. She helped me assimilate to keeping myself safe in a sometimes unsafe environment where I could no longer take everyone at face value as I had up to that point in my life. Along the way, we watched out for each other and managed to stay out of real trouble. She helped me become a strong and independent woman.
Going to music festivals is one of my very favorite memories -- not just of life in KC but life in general. That's not to mention the time spent at Kim's previous apartment in Sedalia or all the insanity at Karen's lake place. If those cottage walls could talk.

I know several women named Kim, so I fondly refer to Kimberley as Wine-in-a-box Kim. We kept it classy with Franzia. All jokes aside, I treasure the good times we had and hope our lives catch up to make more memories in the future. Thinking back and looking forward -- thanks, my friend!

Thanks, my friend! (May 30)

This post has been a long time coming. The enormity of a relationship in its length and scale is sometimes hard to summarize, as is the case with my friend Lori. I will have to suffice to say we've know each other too long to encapsulate it all here, but it all began at 10 years old. That seems like forever ago.
We've always had the kind of kinship where we know how to slide back into each other's acquaintance no matter how long an absence has been. Our lives are much different now, and those changes have us in own new places, but I still feel close to Lori. 

No one else probably knows as much about my family stuff, and maybe vice versa for her. Down the line we've eaten whole frozen chocolate pies together, gotten in trouble with our dads (like that was hard), been young and dumb enough to appropriate porn, learned the words to entire albums, drove every inch of Marshall in the biggest Lincoln on the planet, skirted around the whims of the most OCD person there ever was, and gotten/given a lifetime of free haircuts. The deal was that I'd take her along as my personal stylist when I became a famous producer, and I'm so sorry that will never happen now. lol

This history goes from the early years of finding ourselves to having families of our own.  Lori is a loving mom whose children (and spouse) are very lucky to have her.  It's been great being along on that ride with her, too.  Being a part of Lori's life meant I gained a surrogate family, too, whose love has been so appreciated in mine.

It's too bad the miles keep us apart now.  After all this time, though, I still feel like I can walk into Lori's kitchen anytime and open the fridge for tea without us missing a beat in the conversation.  We both know I practically wore out her washer, dryer and ears listening over such a span of time. 

I hope I've given Lori as much support as she's provided me over the years. It's been a good run, and I must say thanks, my friend!


If there is someone who deserves to hear how special they are, why not tell her today? 

Thanks, my friend! (May 23)

It's been a struggle lately to maintain a sense of calm throughout the day. You know, the typical stuff ... dealing with bad drivers, ignorant callers, errant rodent invaders, an impatient spouse. The stress has seemed heavier than usual this week and not for any particular reason. So I escape to yoga class. Going to the YMCA, though, does not mean top-dollar accommodations. For example, we've been moved to a racquetball court. Nobody plays racquetball anymore anyway, right? No worries. Wrong ... tonight just next door. Nameste, not!
Long story long, I tried to envision something peaceful when in final relaxation and keep my focus.  Remaining mindfully still was so hard with a ball hitting the opposite wall and its deliverer expressing such loud displeasure at his shot. I brought to mind the mental image of a beautiful young brunette, the daughter of my friend Phoebe, sitting cross-legged and silent in her own comfortable seated position that her mom had shared online earlier in the week. This little sweetie's eyes were closed in meditation, and I understand she was reciting her own perfect ohms to help Mom get ready for a new brother or sister to arrive soon. I'm sure she'll be a wonderful big sister.

smilingdogblog.com
not her but similar

Sometimes the simplest things like that can bring you back to where you need to be. Her tiny cherubic face calmed me enough to ignore otherwise distracting ambient noise, and her Snow White ensemble brought a smile back to my own face. Knowing her mom's preference for Merida, I'd imagine a bow and arrow may have been close by instead of dwarfs. Phoebe all about empowering this budding feminist, and I'd like to think I'd act much the same as her if I had a daughter instead of a son.
Phoebe otherwise serves as a calming force in all the chaos of the world. You can tell it from her personality. She is a great mom and endearing wife to Mark, whom she always publicly praises. People don't do that much, so it's a welcome oddity. They're a fantastic couple, and I think they have a great little growing family.
Every week I try to recognize a friend whose uniqueness brightens the lives of her family and friends. I'm glad to have worked with Phoebe and gotten to know her better through it. She constantly cracks me up with her sharp wit, and I just wish I could still enjoy it in person instead of only online. Her one small act of sharing brought me joy this week, and I'd like to thank her for it!

If you're lucky enough to have a friend like mine, you should tell her so. We who have friends are rich indeed. Tell them about it!

Thanks, my friend! (May 16)

Over a year ago MissRepresentation.org inspired me to embark on an effort to actively support other females, as we can sometimes be overlooked in the compliment department. I try to do so in this blog each week. In part, feminism should be about women building each other up verbally instead of tearing each other apart like we so unfortunately see every day. So began "Thanks, my friend!"  

This week's post is a bit different than ones past, because it goes out to someone I don't know on a personal level. Only being acquainted with this young woman on a professional level won't keep me from recognizing her valiance, of which I've been privileged to witness over the last year or so. Amy is caring and compassionate, and she's shown a beautiful bravery in her husband's fight against cancer for over a year now.  

We've only spoken perhaps once, but Amy's Facebook updates on her family's struggle have spoken to my heart many times. I want to commend her for her gracious spirit in such a difficult chapter of their lives, and I want to thank her for reminding each person who reads the "status" on their page how very fortunate we are to have our health and to have each other.  

Thank you for so poignantly pointing out what life is all about ... the love we share with people who are important to us and make life worth living. I want to recognize you for showing everyone  that we should enjoy every day and run, jump, laugh, dance and smile every chance our bodies allow us to do so. May you find peace and continue to smile yourself.  

We don't know each other well, but thanks, my friend!  

We who have family and friends are SO very lucky. Tell someone how fortunate you are to have them in your life today! 

Thanks, my friend! (April 19)

It's hard to be positive in today's environment. Keeping pace with national news is exhausting, if not depressing, and even more so on an international level. Social media usage can then either be a fun escape outlet or perpetuate the ever-increasing intensity of things going on in the world. A slice of sunshine in the midst of it all is so refreshing.  

Some people seem to react well to chaos. Wouldn't that be nice to do? Every picture I see of a young friend of mine reflect that balance. She shows a smiling face or one with a great curling smirk, and not one of those insipid duck-lipped smiles. Either one she offers is perfect. Those facades epitomize what I think makes up Abby.  

She is a bundle of energy and a positive source of inspiration for the people around her. I met this young woman through my previous job, where she was a work-study student in our office. Abby matriculated through her program and is now working on a grad degree. What better person to work with college students? She is not that much older than them, so Abby provides a realistic role model in a setting so suitable to her skills.   

Abby was previously supervised by a co-worker and always accepted any new challenge presented to her. Trust me, it's hard to find motivated students to take on any additional tasks without complaints of how busy they already are. She worked, kept up with school, and had a social life to boot. Your atypical but favorite kind of student worker.

What is considered professionalism in the workplace is so different now than when I started working full-time back in the day (won't mention when). That's not to say that kids aren't learning how to act in a professional environment.  They are ... if they'll listen and learn. Abby is the type of person who takes her working life as seriously having a personal life. She stays relevant without being outwardly worried about being hip (even though she is) and is self-effacing, being the first to chide herself. It's a healthy, endearing sort of goofy, with the most delightful sense of humor.  

The biggest bit of praise I can extend to Abby is her grace under pressure. I once saw her shut down a Facebook heckler with such diplomacy I'm sure the jerk is still her online friend to this day. It might have been back in the DOMA period or perhaps simply an ongoing difference of opinion about political issues. Regardless, one of Abby's FB "friends" made a rude and provoking comment, and her reply not only defended people who are gay but most likely made the heckler question his/her own misplaced words. Anyone else would've started an online war of words, one which would've had an inevitable bad ending.

Not Abby. She's not that quick-triggered. She's a happy maker, not a naysayer. I admire her forethought before action, her cheerfulness and kindness to other people -- thanks, my friend!

I invite others to support the amazing the women in their lives by simply saying, "thanks." Someone deserves to hear it today.

Thanks, my friend(s)! March 28

How about going for a two-fer this week? BOGO is big in advertising, and I love a buy-one-get-one deal! There's no competition here. I just don't want to feel like I've placed one person's importance any higher than that of another, and I'd have some similar things to say about both of them.

I met them together, after all, when I was welcomed into a group of wonderfully supportive and hilarious women that make up my book club. Rhonda and Shelli both make me lol every time I see them. They are both warm and generous friends who I am so glad to have been introduced to when moving here four years ago. They could've asked, "Who's this ... why should we assume she'll fit in?" Let's face it, it's a roll of the dice where we live.  But I followed Alexis in to infiltrate her group of friends whether they liked it or not!

Those women went on her word that we're like-minded people, and I'm so glad to have been included into a clowder of very cool cats whom I've grown to love so much. Shelli and Rhonda continually show their gigantic hearts in all they do, and I love laughing when I'm around them so much that my cheekbones literally hurt from the workout. These women are both so smart and help educate the vast public in their jobs every day. If only a little of their wisdom (and humming musical talent) wears off on me in their presence, too! Can't wait for our annual summer outing, ladies!

I try to say "thanks" to a friend as often as I can, mostly in appreciate of how rich my life is because of the wonderful women I've had the honor to meet in my time on the planet. In light of our connection, I took today's goodreads quote of the day for them:

Why did you do all this for me?' he asked. 'I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you.' 'You have been my friend,' replied Charlotte. 'That in itself is a tremendous thing. E.B. White

Thanks, my friend! (Feb. 14)

Here's the way I think the story went.  My friend Lisa went on a student exchange trip to France when she was young. She and her fellow travelers had shirts made with something French-ish on the back. We did that stuff in the '80s. I had some sweatpants with my name across the ass, but anyway...

Lisa chose to have "wee wee" on hers, for the affirmative "yes" statement -- maybe it was the only French phrase she learned. From there, though, her later-in-life-boyfriend called her PeeWee. Then he called her Herman, as in PeeWee Herman. She has since been called Herman for 20+ plus years. As you can tell, this poor woman has the soul of a saint! And she's married to him now. He would probably tell the story differently, but that could take several hours.

Having "Brother Friend" is part of the package friendship deal, but that's okay! These two are super fun to hang out with, and you never know what's going to happen at their lake house, one of my favorites places to go in the summer. Regardless of everyone's busy schedules, they welcome us with open arms. We've all had countless good times there, and the antics now include our kids. My son and their youngest daughter were once "lost" in the woods, but Lisa kept me calm until they returned -- wielding sticks to fight off "bad guys."

She's one of those great moms who never shows up empty-handed. I can't imagine her girls' school classroom parties. Their family came to welcome my son into the world with a big teddy bear, and she has since given him a ball or other gift almost every time we've seen each other. The dolphin book is especially treasured. Lisa went of town when we used to work together and brought me souvenirs for simply watering her plants. I still wear a scarf she once gave me, in all its timeless style.

Lisa does the cool handmade Christmas cards with her girls' picture on it, no jenky Santa cards, and is forever the organizer of our get togethers. It must be great to have that endless energy. She spends a lost of it on her daughters and husband, too.

I envy Lisa's sweet demeanor. Her concern can help someone open up about something they might have not otherwise. This subtly fits her kind heart and quiet composure. We try to live it up, though, as much as we can. Karen brings a box of beer and Dena offers up some Sangria, and we all raise a glass to lament the "other" Karen's absence from our group. Most of the time we just laugh until we cry in happiness. A text message always follows inquiring about everyone's safety. I cherish the time spent with these women, and thank Lisa for her friendship over the years.

Take a minute to tell a friend how she is special in your life.  How apropos for Valentine's Day to do it right now! Never take it for granted that there's another chance to tell someone you love them. It's so easy to say, "Thanks, my friend!"

Malala Yousafzai - Time magazine

"She has become perhaps the world’s most admired children’s-rights advocate, all the more powerful for being a child herself. Her primary cause — securing Pakistani girls’ access to education — has served to highlight broader concerns: the health and safety of the developing world’s children, women’s rights and the fight against extremism." 
- TIME magazine on Malala Yousafzai, the first runner-up in their "Person of the Year" issue. (via MissRepresentation.org)


This incredible young woman has been mentioned before on this blog, and she has been named the first runner-up in Time magazine's "Person of the Year 2012" issue, behind only U.S. President Barack Obama. Her brave example shines as a beacon for every young woman today, and her experience is a lesson for all people about equal rights and humane behavior. She was targeted to serve as an example of hatred and tyranny but lives on despite those terrorist attempts to destroy all the admirable qualities she embodies.

Miss Yousafzai is an amazing testament to the power of one person to have great influence regardless of the person's age. May she have a full recovery and a safe continuation of her life!

We Can Do It!

There is no way I could not share this quote today, Election Eve in America.  

from missrepresentation.org on FB

It is from Jennifer Siebel Newsom & the MissRepresentation.org Team

(regarding how to increase the # of women who influence policy decisions)

"It's not just about electing women though, it's about voting for those candidates - regardless of gender - who truly value and respect all of us. It's about supporting those who embrace both masculine and feminine qualities across society.We need people at the top who advocate for equal pay, family leave, and childcare policies. We need politicians who really care about our kids' education, our health, our well-being and the environment. We need brave leadership - leadership that isn't afraid to say in public what they think in private and that isn't afraid to challenge the status quo of partisan politics. Leadership that prioritizes a healthier economy and incorporates care and caregiving into its policies and incentives."

Thanks, my friend! (September 7)

I am compelled to pay it forward lately through my attempt to highlight a strong woman here each week, which has just so happened to be someone I know personally.  We women must support each other, especially in such sketchy times of the persistent war against women in America.  Support and encouragement can only help females demand the equality and recognition they and many feminists before them have worked so hard to earn.    

The women featured in the posts within this meme do not necessarily share my political/spiritual/life views, but all our opinions and feelings are valid.  More importantly, we need to support each other instead of participating the ongoing inner turmoil of our gender.  Doing so only perpetuates the demeaning images of women and minimalization so heavily mediated to young people today.  We must acknowledge each other's worth if we expect and demand the same from society.  If only girls, as well as boys, were shown more ways to respect others and themselves in the process.  But that's another story.

An amazing woman I know has lived an exciting life.  We met while working in the same office at a large university.  My friend, Kristin, was one of the few people who made me feel welcome and confident in that new environment where women weren't so supportive of each other.  It was hard to know whom to trust, and that was only the beginning of my awakening in a big city.  Here was a woman who seemed to have it all together at such a young age.  She had (and has) such a good nature that students, co-workers and generally anyone she met was drawn to her.  With her help, I was able to open my mind to much more than my small-town upbringing had manifested by then.  She and I worked hard to get it all together with each other's urging.

She is now raising two young boys who will no doubt follow their parent's example of a couple who walks what they talk.  They encourage other couples do the same.  I was honored to be in Kristin and Dave's wedding party and have never seen a happier, more beautiful bride than on that day.  She is strong in her faith and lives it every day.  I know a lot of her strength comes from within, though, which I've always admired.

My friend went through a lot on her way to get where she is, and she deserves many kudos.  She speaks her mind but never makes a claim she can't back up.  We've seen each other through some stuff, let me tell ya, but also had lots of fun!  Two lounge chairs at Bicycle Club's pool stand deprived of our deep discussions in the sun there.  I miss living near Kristin and getting to spend time with her.  We could always stir up some drama if there was none to be had.  I'm just mad she's disabled her Facebook profile with pictures to steal for this post!  But she might also be mad if I scanned the old one of us as Brady sisters ... oh, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

Through these weekly posts I encourage women to recognize someone important in their life by acknowledging her worth and letting her know how you feel.  It can mean a lot to say just a little.  I want to "walk my talk," too.  With that, I say thanks to Kristin who I love like a sister and whose friendship I treasure.  
 

Thanks, my friend! (August 30)

At the urging of the formidable forces at missrepresentationorg, I've been posting a weekly tribute to a woman who has had an impact in my life and/or generally deserves recognition for all her endearing qualities.  The least women can do to support each other is to give one another some kudos from time to time.  Anyone reading these posts are also introduced to some pretty damn cool people.  

Funny, I have several friends who are so nice I've never heard them say an unkind word about anyone (or at least only in jest).  Funny because I'm the sarcastic one who unashamedly talks smack on a pretty regular basis.  Someone who never does is my friend Karen.  She's one of those perpetually smiley people who's always looking at the bright side of things and people.  I was lucky enough to meet her soon after moving out on my own and invite myself along with her friends on many an adventure, along with a few mis-adventures.  Those are the most pleasurable to remember, btw.

taking my boy on his first seado ride

Most of our pictures together are at Lake of the Ozarks, where Karen and her sisters own a cottage that has accomodated a multitude of friends, their kids, their kids' friends, etc., etc.  My fondest memories are of fun times at the lake.  I would never have tried to slalom water ski if it wasn't for Karen and her sister.  Coincidentally, many flashbacks are of Karen trying to keep the rest of in line, as she seemed to have the most level head (and that's scary).  We can always look back and laugh about most incidents.  Even the craziest episodes are funny after the fact.  

We've traveled together to Memphis, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Antonio, and gone canoeing with a group of whacky women.  Karen is always the one laughing softly at the antics but never at the expense of anyone else being such a light-hearted and kind person.  She graciously hosted my baby shower with my friend, Amy.  Karen is generous with her time, volunteers in her community, and is involved in her son's activities.  

Even though we've all tried repeatedly to convince her there's a great guy out there for her, she's perfectly content by herself.  That's the strong confidence many women should aspire to have.  Karen is comfortable in her own skin, is friendly and welcoming, and takes care of what needs to be done.  Her self-deprecating humor is also a great asset, and we can all learn a lesson or two from her example.  So for all the good times and your comradeship, I thank you, my friend!

Those interested can take their own "pledge" to discern how women are represented in the media.  Part of the challenge is to pay homage to each other in an effort to contradict the negative images and cruel criticism amongst ourselves.  We are more than our looks, age, clothes, children and careers.  My personal pledge is to: 

"... make a concerted effort to see women as allies instead of enemies; and let's stop judging other women for their success, their talents or their looks" (MissRepresentation).

the next step

So it's time.  Time to quantify, however loosely, my campaign against sexism.  It's grass roots.  The scale is pretty small.  But I wage personal wars against things I feel strongly about (i.e. anti-gay business practices by companies like Chik-fil-a and Hobby Lobby), especially against media-based sexism.  There's a feeling of vindication and personal pride at the front-lines of my tiny tirades.  

As the gurus at MissRepresentation suggest:

Step 3: Set a goal for your campaign - from numbers of signatures to phone calls made - and begin implementing your plan. 

Then how can I measure or quantify my little personal protest?  I read blogs and tweets from credible sources I trust almost every day, depending on online access.  It's my goal to inform myself via reading (articles, blogs, trusted news sources) every time time allows me to do so.  I hope that to be almost every day, and the plan is underway.  The Twitter tag #MissRep shows the great response of other people doing the same.  I use several hashtags to make my tweets searchable.  Maybe there will even be an official count documented here.

As I've said before, my personal protests may fall on deaf ears.  They are most likely unknown to the companies and ignored by the interns handling menial tasks like social media mining for political candidates on the campaign trail.  I've had my say in my small way, and I know it's out there.  Someone like Todd Akin will probably never know -- much less care -- what I think, but I vow to voice my opinion.  Sometimes it's the only participation available to the mass public, and I'm going to use it.

my campaign against sexism

Yesterday I was especially embarrassed to be a Missourian.  The parade of idiots started long ago with US Attorney and former Missouri Governor John Ashcroft and lately continued with Representative Billy Long.  It is horrifying to see all these out-of-touch, sexist, bigoted asshat politicians hailing from our state open their fat, hateful mouths.  They further prove to the world that we live in a backwards, socially- and morally-retarded region of the United States.  And now Todd Akin is added to the muddled equation.  How did we get so lucky in Missouri?  

I love it here otherwise but wish we could kick them out.  We live in a fairly beautiful state, aside from the humidity, that is being polluted by ultra-conservatism and general jackassery.

from rosietheriveterphotos.com

This ignorance leads me to the subject of my campaign against sexism.  My campaign may be a feeble attempt to do something, at least a little something, to express my outrage at common-place sexism against women in modern society.  I could be challenged for my exclusion of men, but not really.  Being female places us in a constant barrage of arrogant, ill-informed, prejudice in a so-called modern day society.  We are discriminated against in wages, safety, and "good ol' boy" public opinion as second-class citizens.  "Ah, shucks, little lady.  You get paid 70 cents to our dollar.  Whatsamatter with that?  Get back to my supper and diaper that yammerin' baby while yer at it!"  

At the suggestion of the MissRepresentation team, I vow to at least continue my Twitter campaign against all types sexist behavior in comments and advertising I see around me.  It happens every day, so there should be no problem staying active.  

I heard an approximately 12-year old boy at the swimming pool this weekend tell his friends on the steps say, "Come on, guys -- you look like a bunch of women sitting there."  As an un-involved stranger and eavesdropper of his budding-little-misogynist comment, I stated in a very loud voice, "There's nothing wrong with that."  They should be so lucky.  An adult male with their group heard me and smiled back at me.  I don't know if it was a simple acknowledgement, agreement or disdain, but he certainly didn't respond verbally.

MissRep's to do list includes:

Step 1: Talk to your friends, family and neighbors, and decide what issue you'd like to tackle.

Step 2: Research your issue and decide exactly how you will take action. 

Step 3: Set a goal for your campaign - from numbers of signatures to phone calls made - and begin implementing your plan. 

The plan:
Tweet my disdain to any individual, especially politicians, who makes sexist comments in public or a publicized personal setting become known through "legitimate" (pun intended), verifiable sources.  Tweet my consumer declaration on non-support (#notbuyingit) to any organization that overtly or inadvertently expressed sexist beliefs or views, especially in advertising, or otherwise uses sexist policy this is widely known and provable.  This blog has a very small following, but I ask anyone reading it to take some sort of personal action.  The need to do so is apparent on an every-day basis, and to deny such is to willingly keep your head buried in the sand of patriarchy.  Think for yourselves, and stand up for women.      

photo source: Obama for Women via Facebook

Thanks, my friend! (August 17)

Through my reminiscing on friendships lately, I'm pleased to recollect how many cool classmates I remain in contact with from college. Maybe it's not an astounding feat for most folks, but I was a part-time student in my 30s while working full-time at the university. We didn't live on campus to interact in the typical ways of first-time freshman, but we made the best of our time there. The handful of quality people from undergrad who remain in my life today bring back many good memories of those days. The internet makes it possible for us to stay in touch now.

Those friends are scattered across the world, including California, Colorado and Korea. One good girlfriend moved to North Carolina a few years back, and I miss her greatly!  Shelley is a compassionate and kind-hearted soul who makes friends easily with her outgoing nature. Her professional life has been spent mostly in non-profit entities where serving people is her business. We not only had classes together but got to know each other better and become friends.  We also saw each other progress into our respective work worlds. 

Shelley's professional life changed directions with her move to Charlotte, where I know she loves living. It's closer to her family, and her devotion to them glows through her pictures online. She met a guy who makes her happy, and I am glad for them. Steve found a great partner! 

Social media is the medium I get to experience her life through now, for which I am grateful. I miss her laugh and the fun times we had in Kansas City, but I'm glad we can at least stay in touch long distance. I hope she knows how much I appreciated her introducing me to people and inviting me along with her friends. Shelley is a strong, remarkable woman, and I miss her charming tendency to call someone a "doll."  I hope our paths cross again one day.

Distance is yet another reason we should all tell our friends how much we love them. Do it today!  You'll be glad you did. 

Thanks, my friend! August 1

photo - UMKC

At the impending start of a new school year, I would like to commemorate a former professor who had a great influence on me.  Even though I've sang her praises in this blog before, my latest University alumni newsletter brought fond memories back in a flush of emotion.  Dr. Carol Koehler was my instructor for an undergraduate class and a grad class, as well as the director of my internships.  She was understanding, supportive, and always there for a pep talk when I taught class as a GTA for one very long semester!

This incredible woman inspired many students under her tutelage.  She encouraged me when I graduated and moved to a small town, offering ideas for seeking contentment in an environment where I otherwise may have floundered creatively.  It was sort of a "blossom where you're planted" but remain humble kind of advice.  I had reached out to Dr. Koehler in the fall last year, updated her on my life changes, and shared my recently self-published novella with her by email.  I thanked her for the attention and guidance she had given me in the past.  As always, her warmth and praise sprang from the screen in her response email, and she asked me to stay in contact.  Little did I know she was undergoing heart surgery the next month, and it ultimately claimed her life.  A student caller seeking alumni donations for an honorary scholarship gave me the shocking news.  I hadn't responded to Carol's last email, and I'm so sorry for my delay.

Dr. Koehler was the type of person who called everybody "kiddo" but in a way that exuded her maternal nature and caring spirit.  She had a great sense of humor and affected the lives of countless people with her generous time and attention.  The messages on her online obituary continue as more people who benefited from her presence are informed of her death and express their heartfelt condolences.

We can all aspire to leave a legacy such as hers.  I learned you don't put off that email or phone call to someone you care for and appreciate.  You may not get another chance.  Each week I try to encourage readers to tell their friends you love them.  Today I want to recognize there are still outstanding people in the world who serve as excellent role models. Tell those people how they help make your life more enjoyable by being in it.

In admiration and reverence of Dr. Carol Koehler, I say to anyone reading this,"l'chaim."  Don't put off telling someone how much they mean to you.  You'll be glad you did.

Thanks, my friend! July 25

When I think of a word to describe the woman I want to pay tribute to this week, the first one that comes to mind is "brave."  My friend, Marci, is absolutely one of the bravest people I know.  She was responsible for herself and her young sons from an early age and has always provided them an impeccable example of hard work, dedication and loyalty.  I had the pleasure of meeting her through our mutual work environment but am so glad we're sustained contact since then.

This woman is so faithful to her family that I couldn't even steal a Facebook picture of her by herself (sorry, Bob)!  She is with her loving husband or those growing boys in every other one.  Not that there's anything wrong with that ... it simply goes to show how inseparable the family has become.  They're all sports fanatics, but I'm not sure if her competitive influence is as strong with the younger two.  I think her husband is great and they are great for each other (although they kind of gag me within their online pda). 

This group has gone through incredible challenges for their unity, and they deserve all good things that come from it.  Marci worked full-time while going to college and matriculated through a Bachelor program.  She has done some graduate-level study and is working toward her state teacher certification.  Her students  love their "Ms. Marci!"  It's great to see her in a job she enjoys, and the school district is lucky to have her.  She brings them a wealth of knowledge, both academic and experiential.  

Marci is a dedicated mom who has spent her life showing her boys how to become successful adults. Their success is just as important as her own -- each win is equally gratifying.  This woman is wholly committed , and I believe she created the familial closeness anyone wishes for in their life.  She lost her mother, and the boys lost their beloved grandmother; but Marci strongly carries the matriarchal weight she has been left.  I'm sometimes in awe of how she performs under pressure and admire her courage, strength and modesty.

One of Marci's most endearing qualities is her sense of humor and fun.  We usually snarkily share what we find amusing. There are people you're meant to meet in life, but then again there are friends you're apt to keep for life.  I greatly miss being around her.   


Please tell someone you know just how important they are in your life.  It's only takes a minute of time, and we don't always have a tomorrow to say it.